Vuze: the new Gator

Several years ago (seems like a lifetime ago) in a misguided attempt to help my younger daughter legally download free music, I installed something called “Gator” on my home computer.

Almost immediately I realized I was stuck in the equivalent of the innocent young couple in the movie Pacific Heights, in which Michael Keaton (perfectly) plays the role of their charming, evil, smarmy, horrible evil tenant that they cannot get rid of (until the climax, when he meets a very (to the audience) satisfying end).

Gator was just like the Keaton character. It pretended to be friendly and charming, but really it was from hell. It took over everything and fucked up everything. I don’t know if I ever got rid of it or if I simply went out and bought a new computer. I had frackin nightmares about Gator.

Then things changed and along came MP3s and there was standardization and itunes and everything was groovy.

A few months ago a friend of mine installed the peer-to-peer program Vuze on my machine. Since then I’ve used it to download a bunch of old films. Some obscure French films and some porno from the 80’s. About 7 flicks, total, I think. Recently it got hung, so I deleted and downloaded it & reinstalled it again tonight. And then I did a Mac OS & Safari software update & rebooted.

And now there is a Vuze toolbar in both my Safari and my Firefox. It’s late and I can’t figure out how to get rid of them. I’ll figure it out tomorrow.

But for now, when I see Vuze I’m seeing Gator, and I’m not liking it one bit.

Fuck you Vuze. Who told you you could mess with my browsers? By what right do you come in and mess with my stuff? Fuck you Vuze, you pigs. Fuck you vuze. Fuck you, Vuze. I don’t care what you say. This is malware tactics. Bite me.

I guess it serves me right for violating the sacrosanct copyright of 40 year old movies. But damn, does it piss me off.

Vuze, the new Gator. Sheesh.


  1. Taking over your shit has a long sad history. Sony and Microsoft did it and the latter still does. But long before that, banks could reach into your accounts and mess with stuff, even if by mistake, and there was very little recourse for fixing it. (I once had to hire a lawyer to get my tax refund, which the bank had decided to transfer to someone else.) Even your mechanic has a lien on your car while he’s fixing it. (I once had to hire a lawyer to get my car back from the creditors of a repair shop that had gone out of business while they were working on my car. It wasn’t even the place I had brought the car to, but rather a subcontractor.)

    No, it is absolutely not your fault for installing software that does exactly what a computer is for — working with and sharing bits of information. You should have the right to expect jerks, corporations, and governments to keep their hands off your stuff. Alas, in dozens (hundreds?, thousands?) of cases, some special interest or another has carved out an exemption that lets them do so with impunity. Fuck ’em all, the bastards.

  2. They’re coming to take you away, HA HA!

    You should be careful what you admit to on the interwebs. The MPAA and RIAA are EEEVIL!!!!

  3. bj,

    Thanks for your concern. I guess I was being indiscreet. I would have answered sooner, but was distracted by all the noise emanating from black helicopters hovering above my ho

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