Weimar Washington: Republican Christian Homosexual Predators in the Halls of Congress–So What Else is New?

Child rapists roam the halls of congress, protected by the Powers that Be, powers such as the People’s Representative Dennis Hastert and his live-in “chief of staff” Scott Palmer (um, incidentally, Scott, can you define “staff” for us, please?). Surprise, surprise, the corporate media (the same guardians of our democracy who created the pan-channel “All Monica All the Time” monocourse) somehow did not think that sexual predation on adolescents by congressmen was even back page news. Katie Couric is no Einstein, but even she knows that blowjobs are newsworthy when performed by adult women on Democratic men, not when boys and Republicans are involved.

For as anyone who pays attention to this kind of thing would expect, the predators in this case are men who rape boys, and they’re Republicans.

Representative Foley is gone now from congress–caught with his pants down, he resigned–his decision presumably not too unlike what’s his face’s in Godfather, Part II, who was given the option of slitting his own wrists in the penitentiary, or having that and worse done to him, his family, and every one he had ever met, by Kaiser Soszye, whose card is presumably well-thumbed in Ms., I mean Mr., Karl Rove’s rolodex. Checking oneself into rehab is not dignified, generally speaking, but it’s preferable to being rubbed out, we can all agree on that.

So note the tones of forgiveness in right-wing blog land. By the right wing blogger’s code of ethics, “Death before Dishonor” applies to captured newsmen in Gaza with Islamofascsist AK-47’s at their temples. Not, of course, to top fund raisers on the Republican rubber-chicken fundraising circuit. And Mark Folely was, the record will show, quite the cash cow for the Republican cause, the party of “Values”. A few traumatized children are a small price to pay for that kind of money-making power for the Party of Values isn’t it? And who’s to say that that kind of sexual man-boy thing is all bad, anyway? One of those pages may grow up to be the next Ken Mehlman, for all we know.

So Mark Foley is gone, but more Foleys remain in the halls of power, we can be sure of that. Want my proof? I have none. But riddle me this, comrade Republican: would you send *your* 15 year old nephew down there to live and work among these people? (I wouldn’t.) And by the way, what’s your opinion on the legal age of consent for sex, and what say you about gay marriage in San Francisco?

As one also would expect, the “Christian” right (Dobson et al) has risen to the homosexual child-rapists’ defense. I say that this is to be expected, for nothing so embodies the values of the modern Republican Party — the party of child-thrashing Dobson, of Rush Limbaugh and his Oxycodon and Viagra, of paramilitiary paint-ball church ralleys with guns and crosses (and maybe a relic of the true cross, on loan from Disneyworld, for extra pheromonic stimulation), of “fag hag” Ann Coulter and the ghost of Roy Cohn, of Antonin Scalia and his predatory clerics in their silken frippery–as does grown men getting sucked off by, and then fucking up the ass, young men entrusted to their care. So of course the mulit-millionaires of the Christofascist phalanx are there on radio and television mouthing the big lie, claiming it was all just a misunderstanding, taking Foley’s side, trying out the new Republican motto: “I never meant to come in your mouth, Billy; it was an accident, I swear it was! Here, let me get you a tissue!” This is what might be called “Compasionate Conservatism 2.0”. Don’t quote me, but my sources tell me it was Mehlman himself who came up with the media plan.

Really, is there any political observer left, Puggy Noonan of course exempted, who does not think that Rove, Mehlman, Bush, Hastert, Rice and a gaggle of others are gay? Am I missing something here?

Meanwhile America, teh internets tell me, is shocked by these new revelations of Republican perfidy and pederasty. Not as shocked as it was shocked by Bill Clinton’s getting a blow job from a big-titted legally-adult woman who initiated their affair, but still shocked. Reverend uncle Dixon and Reverend uncle Armen and other ministers in the NASCAR/NFL flag-waving “heartland” of the country profess to be shocked, shocked, that powerful Republicans are boyfuckers. Christians across the nation are deeply offended at pederasty in the heart of Brooks and Dunn land! Republicans are not supposed to be boyfuckers. That’s a Democrat [sic] speciality! Or so they’ve been told.

Yeah, right.

Just as good Germans were shocked, shocked, to learn that Treblinka was a deathcamp and not a country club with canoeing and archery and horseback lessons.

If I have any “Christian” readers who are still will me at this point and who are of the Dobson/Christofascist camp, let me be clear that your “Christian” protestations of ignorance of Republican malfeasance mean nothing to me, any more than do German (or Polish) claims of ignorance of Nazi evildoing. So fuck you, corporal Ratzinger, you drag queen: you can call yourself “Pope Benedict”, but to me you’re just another protector of pederasts, and your brown shirt is as much a part of your history as your recent Muslim-baiting. And fuck you, Uncle Dick; fuck you, Uncle Armen. And fuck all you other fucking right wing “values” Christians. You want to know about “values”? Look at “Jeff Gannon”’s resume and you’ll see all you need to know about values: “eight inches, uncut,” that’s a White House value. If you need clarification on the exact meaning of that measurement, ask Karl Rove, or as he is reputed to be called in Washington gay circles, “Miss Piggy.” So don’t bitch to me, ya’ll. I’m on record as a Massachusetts liberal who strongly supports the rights of gay people to get married. I’m am member of a Unitarian Church that flies a rainbow flag. I just don’t support pedophilia, and I loathe people who do. it’s not the same-sexness of the congressional-page affair to which I object; it’s the power disparity. If there were a congressman of any party who was abusing his or her position of trust to sexually prey upon underage girls instead of boys, I would be no less outraged than I am by the Foley/Hastert/Mehlman/Rove/Bush/Republican coverup of the boy predation. All you Christians are complicit in this Foley boyfucking affair. This sordid business is on your hands, not mine.

From the Dominican Republic to the Marianas Islands to Thailand to the Watergate Hotel, this *is* modern Republicanism, from Ken Melhman and Karl Rove and Jeff Guckert and Condi Rice (and her “husband” the Yale cheerleader George W. Bush), and Dennis Hastert on down. Tony Soprano couldn’t have said it better: This is who they are; this is what they do. The only thing missing from the sound track is Joel Grey singing “Money makes ze vorld go round,” as Michael York and Liza Minelli go out stalking some moneyed, gender-indifferent Sciafe scion with a ten-inch hardon and a Swiss bank account.